Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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