1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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