remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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