I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just blew my weed a kiss
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
