Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
