God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
