Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
