if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
