her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
