tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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