Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
