remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i can't believe i had my finger in that
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
