The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
