guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
