Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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