i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
