I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Bang-toberfest begins!!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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