They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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