No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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