Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize