I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
