my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
