You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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