You really coming over, don't trick.
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
