What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
