Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
