shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I haven't been this sober since birth.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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