therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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