just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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