very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
