Say something about gay babies.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
BRING THE BAGELS
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
