The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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