Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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