He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
A+ Viking dick
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
