Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
