a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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