What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
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white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
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Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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