Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
