Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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