wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize