im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
