its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
