You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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