Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
