..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Someone shattered a urinal.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
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