you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
