Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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