yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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