She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
