why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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