what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
handjob tips. give me some.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
