i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
