You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
