I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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