how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
