You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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