Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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