Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
